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Bunker dreams

'We're pretty much there with the floor plans,' we said, as we sat down with our architect. 'Just a couple of tiny tweaks - a window in the garage, and a sink in the upstairs lounge.'

And that's how it went. Just as we were about to roll up the floor plans and start talking about exterior finishes, The Love of My Life cleared his throat and said 'there's just one thing I wanted to ask about before we move on'.

I tensed. I knew just what that 'one thing' was. A goddamn subterranean wine room.

We had one, of sorts, in London for a while: a damp, dark, cool cellar. Ever since then TLOML has hankered after some sort of wine cave. There's a practical benefit to keeping wine underground - it should need minimal refrigeration, if any. But I think the real appeal is that of a bunker, a secret sanctuary. Maybe even behind some kind of secret door.

Based on a largely fact-free offhand conversation I once had with a builder, I told TLOML confidently it would cost '$200k just for the ground works', and we should therefore not even consider such madness. So as you might imagine I sucked my teeth when he raised the question.

But it turns out I was completely wrong. Because it doesn't require a whole house-sized basement digging, and won't need shoring, it's actually a fraction of the cost I'd imagined. We can use the existing staircase and go down from there, so access doesn't take up any floor space. And with the extra space we gain on the ground floor we can move the powder room and redo the kitchen layout which should give us a more open entryway and more space for courtyard. Anything that expands my precious courtyard is a plus in my book.

Fortunately after that conversation we started talking about windows and discovered that if we go for concertina-style, folding french windows rather than multiple sliding panels, we will save not only a foot of wall space but also - oh happy day - about 1/3 of the cost of our new subterranean wine room!

Here's the floor plan we said only needed a tiny tweak:

We walked in looking for a new window and left with a whole new storey. But design-wise I feel like we took a big step forward and we are both excited about it. Financially it may be more like two steps back and one forward. So be it. Onwards!

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